Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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