Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
