Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
