you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
