David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
