gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
