i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
