I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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