Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
