If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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