she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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