none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
