when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
