Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
