Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
