OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
