i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
