is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
