Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
