in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
