I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
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