i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
