It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
and she was petting her beer can
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
