I want to make a zoo with you.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
