im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
