Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
