when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
