just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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