the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
