Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
