yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
