you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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