WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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