True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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