No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize