I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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