I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
