What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
