I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
