He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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