Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
We are all done wearing pants today
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
