I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
