"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize