check it out our google latitudes are spooning
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
