she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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