Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
