He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
And then he peed in my hair
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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