It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
