so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
