I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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