No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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