Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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