Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
