We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
