never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
