it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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