yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
