I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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