I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
