I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
My vagina is very pro this idea
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