just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
