Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
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