yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
