Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
this just has baby written all over it
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Randomize
