Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
