I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
