hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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