Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I wish there were birth control emojis
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
