so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i dont even know how to be here
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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