I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
